Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
