RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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