i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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