STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
