you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
