Screwed.edu
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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