dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize