You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
My ATM looks so different sober.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
