There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
