is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You can't just leave with hair like that
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize