id be glad to
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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