Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize