So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
