Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
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