one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
