We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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