she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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