My nipple is on Facebook.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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