My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
