She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
