Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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