hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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