he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
