Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
