Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
