He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The air was thick with penises
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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