I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize