I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Your dad touched me again.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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