he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
