Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
