I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
