oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize