The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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