Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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