wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
