so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
