It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
