He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
