I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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