there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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