I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
