I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize