You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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