there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
is wine microwaveable?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I have surprise drugs for everyone
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
