'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
