and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
