I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
