Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
