Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
