Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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