Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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