I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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