Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
