another moral hangover. fuck.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
