I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize