sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
