Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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