Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
