the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
