We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
