If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
