We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize