She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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