Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
