You're my little dorito
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
