Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
