i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
