the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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