Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
