i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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