i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
