Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
