College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
