anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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