Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Randomize
