you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize